BitterSweet Revenge
by CompletelyObsessive
Summary: Blair goes to Dan in hope of getting revenge on Chuck for sleeping with someone else, but will she get more than she bargained for? It looks like they both will. Sex from first chapter and lots of Chuck interaction. R&R please!
1. Seeking Dan Humphrey

**A/N: EDIT: Set in the spring of 2010, so late season 3. At the time I wrote this Chuck had not yet sold Blair to Jack so I didn't write that as an issue, but in the next chapter I do. I don't care for continuity and to be honest it doesn't matter that much, seeing as how Blair just ends up forgiving Chuck for the whole whoring her out thing.**

**I was supposed to just stay in Blair's consciousness but I end up going in and out of the two. Disclaimer blah blah blah.**

* * *

10pm- A club on the upper east side

An eighteen year old girl, a young woman, sat alone at the bar in a quiet club. She wore a short black dress that looked closer to lingerie that clothing, but that was intended. In one hand she clutched an unidentifiable alcoholic drink, trembling in the other a cell phone. Blair poured over the text for what must have been the hundredth time that night, and despite her best efforts she could not stop water filling her eyes. The update from gossip girl, that was how she found out what he had done, _that was how he let her find out_. But some would say it was Miss Waldorf's fault, that she drove Chuck Bass into the arms of another woman, _is it my fault? _In the end it was inevitable, every problem had built up, from Jack Bass to Bass Industries, but what he had done was unforgivable. Then why did she still love him?

Blair looked around the usually buzzing club, that tonight had been replaced by the empty thudding of a heavy baseline that helped drown away all other thoughts. But the music could not numb her, not for long enough, she would have to find another remedy. Just as well, because the barman lent over the counter to face Blair.

"Sorry, we're closing early tonight, some sort of business survey."

Blair blinked up at him hazily, showing little interest but the chatty man continued.

"Some new business wants to buy the place out, umm you know, that really rich playboy …. Charles Bass."

"Chuck." Blair said quietly, then cringed against the name that had come from her own lips.

"What?" The man said over the clinking off empty bottles. Blair did not reply, the alcohol was no longer enough to keep her from breaking down, she needed much more. Grabbing the half empty bottle next to her, Blair left the bar abruptly.

She had become a better person, with Chuck around. She couldn't even think of a way to scheme or plot revenge against the Bass-hole who had held her heart dearly, as if for a joke, before he crushed it in front of everyone. Revenge. The word seemed almost foreign on her tongue now, she had been so wrapped in love, that Chuck had become the most important thing in her life. That's what had made the betrayal that much worse._ Betrayal, revenge, hate, _she let the words play on a loop in her mind as she climbed into the town car to take her back to NYU. Did she love him that much that she could not think of a way to make him squirm, to humiliate him? Blair pressed her lips into a tight line before leaning to the driver.

What had hurt Nate all those years ago. Sleeping with his best friend. What would hurt Chuck now…..

"Turn around." Blair slurred slightly, "I need to go to Brooklyn."

…Sleeping with his enemy.

* * *

11pm- Brooklyn streets outside of the Humphrey homestead

It was a long shot, she knew. Too many obstacles. Rufus, Jenny, Vanessa… No, none of them were. Rufus and Jenny were in the upper east side. Vanessa was a lost cause, for Dan anyway. From what Blair had heard from Gossip Girl Humphrey was indeed once again the heartbroken 'lonely boy'. But still Blair found herself walking painstakingly slowly to his Brooklyn loft, she didn't want to do this. She had lost enough of her inhibitions through alcohol to know that it was not the fact she was completely repulsed by Dan. The only reason was Chuck… he had completely infected her. _It's time to leave him behind._

Blair had no courage to summon as she raised her hand to knock on the old door, instead she thought of what Chuck did with a faceless girl from a nameless club. The heavy knock reflected her anger perfectly.

The door swung open revealing a heavy eyed Humphrey, who stood opened mouthed for a few moments before realizing who stood at his door.

"B-blair?" He said, still gawking

"Daniel," She replied, looking at the boy. Every time she had opened the door to Chuck her chest had felt ready to explode. The gnawing absence of this feeling but still having the intention for sex just made her feel sick. Overwhelmingly so.

"Did I wake you?" Blair said with obvious faux concern, entering the loft with an over exaggerated look of disgust. _You're here to get into his bed, not out of his house, s_he thought and tried to lighten her tone.

Dan being the gentleman he was stood aside for Blair despite her less than welcome presence.

"Yeah, well yeah, but, I mean… Why are you here Blair?"

"To talk."

"Talk?"

"Are the acoustics bad in here? Talk."

"You've got to be a bit more specific."

"About Chuck."

"Oh? Ooooohhhhhh." Dan looked away uncomfortably, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Look, I'll get to the point. You've have, for some reason beyond me, always been a comforting presence."

"So you decided to come to my house, drunk by the looks of it, to talk?"

"Exactly."

"Right."

"Just help me out here Humphrey. Vanessa broke up with you right? At least she didn't sleep with someone else."

Dan sighed, Blair was not sure if it was pity or empathy, but he approached and took the bottle she gripped in her hand. For a moment Blair stood still, wondering if he was going to call a taxi before kicking her out. _Such an idiot, _she scolded herself. But instead of opening the door or grabbing the phone, he pulled out two glasses from beneath the counter and began to pour the contents of the bottle into the glasses.

"You're actually going to help me?"

"What can I say, I'm a sucker for a sob story."

* * *

1am - Dan's living room floor

The scene was a surreal one. Dan had sprawled himself on the floor, and held a new bottle of alcohol to his chest, whilst a teary eyed Blair hugged her knees to her chest, curled up on the sofa. Even in her drunken state Blair felt in necessary to remain on a higher level than Dan, but it was getting to a point that she knew it was now or never. For a while the two had been so deep in angry and depressive conversation that Blair had lost sight of her true goal. But this was not a therapy session, this was a game. And one that she intended to win.

"We never could have worked, too many obvious issues." Dan grumbled, now on the subject of his lost love Serena, "It was the same with you and Nate; everyone was in the way."

"Everyone." Blair echoed mindlessly, clambering from the sofa to lie on the floor next to Dan who gasped after the sharp taste of a swig from the bottle.

Dan, who did not seem to notice the sudden proximity of Blair, continued his emotional drain, "And now there's all this shit with Vanessa, it's like….. like we're cursed, but not just you and me. Do you know what I think?"

Dan turned on his side and Blair mirrored the movement so they faced on another, "What do you think?"

"That everyone involved in the Upper East Side, anyone and everything, is set on the path to disaster, it fate!"

The excitement in Dan's voice at the illogical theory told Blair that he was far enough gone to be up for…. anything.

"If we're already doomed for failure then it doesn't really matter what we do, right?" Blair's hand found Dan's on the floor, and rested on top of it, as she shifted closer.

"I guess so." he replied reluctantly, looking straight at her, and even in his current state of mind he realised what her advances meant.

Blair could feel the air between them thicken, with a tension that was somewhere between sexual and confusion. In her embarrassment Blair tore her eyes away from Dan's conflicted glare. The seconds drew out into moments which drew into a minute too long, too long for Blair to feel comfortable anyway. She thought once her senses had been numbed, her inhibitions put on hold, that it would be easy to do this. And it was easy; for Dan. He had shifted closer, closing the gap between them, and the moment Blair looked back up his lips were pressed firmly against hers. This had been her intention all along but Blair was still taken by surprise.

Dan pulled away and with wide eyes gasped, "I'm sorry, I….. I don't know."

"No, no it's fine." Blair said, the last part of he sentence muffled as she crushed her mouth against his again, this time both moved franticly together. Blair's hands crept into Dan's hair, her fingers twisting it into knots. Dan moved his hand, wrapping it around Blair's back, and with a tight hold he pulled them both to their feet, stumbling.

"This is crazy." Dan said breathlessly, moving his moistened lips to her jaw line and slowly down to her neck.

"Completely and utterly." Blair added stifling a moan from the sickeningly familiar feeling of lips on the nape of her neck.

The atmosphere had changed to one of confusion and frustration to one of heat and diluted anger within seconds, as hands moved desperately and lips merged together. All in a desperate attempt to forget any problems, and so far it was working. Dan's tongue delved into Blair's mouth, exploring every inch of it as her hands searched and fumbled with the bottom of his shirt, pulling it upwards. Dan helped her, struggling with pulling it off before moving his hands to the loose straps of Blair's dress, roughly sliding it over her slender body so she stood in just her corset like vest and white lacy thong. With every labored kiss and movement they took another step back until they had reached Dan's bedroom, and the reality of the situation hit them both.

Dan's breath came in slow gasps as he ran his hands down Blair's waist to her hips, his already struggling heart slowing a beat every time his fingers skimmed her soft flesh. Blair handled it no better, her hands shook unsteadily as her fingers trailed down Dan's bare chest to the waist band of his trousers. A few clumsy moments passed before Dan was able to kick of his pajamas and turn back to Blair who was biting down on her lip, clearly not seductively, just with nerve. Dan took hold of her gently, his hands searching her body, breathing her in, clearly unaware of the stench of alcohol that sat on them both, all the while kissing up her neck softly. His lips being there felt like an intrusion.

"The nape of the neck is Chuck's kryptonite."

The memory rang in both of their ears, and Blair felt Dan's rushing lips stop and linger above her skin uselessly. He didn't know if Blair was doing this for comfort or revenge, but he knew it was because of Chuck. Yet the sickening thought did not deter him, just anger. Dan would give Waldorf what she wanted , but she would find no comforting touch in his arms.

Blair was ready to pull away, to stumble home, but Dan continued on _her _quest. He closed the final nervous centimeters between their heated bodies, sighing in annoyance at the feel of the lacy fabric that scratched his chest and murmured Blair's hummingbird heartbeat. Blair kissed Dan's jaw line hungrily as his hands searched her back, finding the ribbon that held her delicate corset in place, and with no regard, tore it roughly apart. The materials gentle flutter to the floor was the only delicate image of the scene, as Dan kissed Blair aggressively, crushing her lips against his. The forceful action was enough to make Blair take a step back, prompting Dan to move a hand to her now bare chest, to grope and explore her tender breasts; before pushing her roughly to the bed behind. In shock Blair grasped Dan's back as she fell, her nails digging into his flesh . Dan's breath rattled between his teeth from pain as the two hit the bed, but he made no other sound, not a flinch, despite the girl's claws. They both knew pain would make this easier. Blair looked up at Dan who held himself above her, she almost smirked from the irony of it. He refused to meet the guilty and desperate gaze of the girl beneath him, who now struggled to gain a fleeting breath.

Dan stared down at Blair's naked body, wanting more, so angry, so scared that he felt that way. Blair was no longer sure what she was doing this for, if this got out it would end her, but looking at Dan in the dim Brooklyn street light she knew she couldn't turn back.

This was it. Dan swallowed the lump in his throat as his hand moved down Blair's stomach and hooked under the feeble lace of her thong, sliding it down over her parted thighs. Time was going slow, too slow. Blair yanked at Dan's underwear, so his, until now, hidden erection sprang free, and after eyes had been squeezed shut and teeth had been bared he moved down.

With a swift movement Dan pushed inside Blair, penetrating her fully with his length. Blair gasped at the biting pain of Dan inside her, he heard the agony in her breath and paused, but only long enough for her to take another sharp breath. He pulled out, just barely, before thrusting into her again and again. Every thrust was pure agony and yet pleasure to Blair, who now drew blood from Dan's back.

"D-dan." Blair whimpered, but he paid no attention just struggled with pulling Blair's hands from his back and pining them to the bed. He continued to thrust violently in and out of her, not realizing that he too was gaining no pleasure from the experience.

The hand that held Blair's arms down was sliding up, subtly, moving to her struggling hands without him noticing. Before he could pull away, his fingers were intertwined with hers. And the feeling was full of comfort and something perfect that should never,_ ever _conspire between a Waldorf and a Humphrey.

His thrusts slowed to a gentle in and out and with great difficulty, Blair noted, Dan looked at Blair's face. Her soft brown eyes were glistening with tears, her cheeks flushed in a rosy anger, and her perfect pouting lips were drawn back to show gritted teeth.

Blair looked back at Dan through hazy eyes, and saw his features soften in regret, said softly "You're an angry drunk, aren't you Cabbage Patch?"

He let out a half- hearted laugh and in a self- pitying tone whispered, "Blair I'm sorry, it's just this is so….

"….Wrong? Shut up and kiss me Humphrey." Blair said pulling her arms away from Dan's grasp and snaking them around his neck.

He lowered his head to her, and she kissed him softly, parting his lips with her own and letting her tongue dance with his. But he pulled away, licking, biting, kissing down her neck and to her chest where he let his tongue swirl around the nipple of her breast. Blair bit down on her lip at the disgustingly amazing sensation of Dan Humphrey trying to find out what she liked, but the tingling that he left where his lips had been was beginning to scare her. She could feel his hand creeping down her body, to her throbbing clit, she was terrified that Dan was going to make her scream. But if it was going to happen, the feeling would be mutual.

Blair pulled Dan's head back up and keeping his attention, arched her back in waiting. It took him a few dizzy moments to realize what she wanted, but slowly his thrusts began again. The rocking came gently at first, but the sudden grip of Blair's legs around Dan's waist forced him to go deeper, harder.

Dan moved his lips to Blair's ear and an involuntary whisper came from his panting lips "Blair". His thrusts came heavily now, almost as aggressively as before, but now Dan had hit a spot in Blair that only one other man before him had truly found. The thought brought a new wave of tears to her eyes, but the tears were partly because she refused to let herself make a sound for the man who now pumped in and out of her.

It was no use resisting, Blair could feel her body clench around him with every painfully pleasurable thrust, and a final hitch in her breathing had Blair give in to the inevitable. She responded to the hoarse and breathless moaning in her ear with a screaming cry, as Dan pounded into her, hitting the spot that was making her climb higher and higher.

She was contracting around him now, clenching the fists wrapped around Dan's wet neck, that matched the consistency of their sweat slicked bodies. The thrusts had become effortless as a hot and wet Blair surrendered to Dan.

The pleasure was unbearable, she had to scream, but to say his name would be a sin, and yet she didn't care anymore, "D- DAN, OH GOD…." She trailed off into a incoherent scream, not even able to get his name from her lips.

Dan too reached his tipping point, he erupted insider of her, his thrusts becoming impossibly slow as he filled her up over and over. He could barely manage a breath, his voice came in a husky moan as he repeated her name inaudibly. "Shit." He panted through gritted teeth.

"Shit's right." Blair gasped as he felt the hot sticky liquid dribble from her and down her thighs, she should have been disgusted but her awe of Dan in that moment cancelled it out. She looked up at him as he pulled himself out of her with a horribly sticky sound. His hair stuck to his sweat soaked face, but she could still make out the creases that lingered on his forehead. Like her, he was mad and scared. Not at what they'd done, but that what they'd done didn't feel wrong.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Dan said watching the room spin around him, slumping himself next to Blair on the unusually undisturbed bed and running his hands over his hot face. He turned his head to look at Blair, who looked up at the ceiling with disbelieving eyes, her flushed face; her glazed eyes read a cluster of emotions.

_And all he could think about doing was kissing her again._

The alcohol had to be factored in, but even without it Dan could not imagine doing anything else but kissing up Blair's delicate neck to her plush pouted lips. Why the sudden change of heart? She had been so vulnerable to him, he had made _her _cry. He had always imagined that it would be the other way around.

And so had she; Blair could feel Dan's eyes on her but refused to turn, she would have no more comfort from him. This was supposed to be about….. Revenge? Dan's feelings meant nothing to her, well they hadn't. Was it possible that one night of drunken sex could change that? _It did in the back of a limo._

And of course, the reason for this misadventure was brought back to mind, front and center. Chuck Bass.

And that's who Blair fell asleep thinking of, but not who she dreamt about…..

* * *

9am- Dan's bedroom

Blair struggled to open her eyes to the painful sunlight, but eventually her eyelids fluttered open to a plain ceiling above her. _Concentrate, concentrate,_ Blair thought above the heavy base thumping in her head, apparently a marching band had taken residence there. Thin cotton sheets stuck unattractively to every contour of her body; she peeled them away and with her every muscles aching in complaint she threw her legs over the side of the bed.

Of Dan's bed.

"Oh, no, God no." She murmured miserably putting her head in her hands feebly.

A body shifted beside her, and a deep grumble came from a husky throat. Blair was suddenly very aware she was naked. Jumping up, her muscles now screaming, she yanked the sheet from the bed and pulled it around herself protectively. And yet the naked boy barely stirred.

"Dan…. Dan." She tried weakly, "HUMPHREY!"

Dan sat up abruptly hissing back against the light, and no doubt a raging headache too.

"What that f…Blair!" Dan said, his voice unnaturally high pitched, "Oh my God, It actually happened didn't it?"

"I am afraid so, and if you don't mind I would like to leave as quick as possible with a shred of my dignity in tact." She said hoping the ridiculous hangover wasn't wavering her confident front. She looked down at Dan who quickly pulled a spare sheet over himself, his hair was tussled in unworldly ways and the bags under his eyes spoke for themselves. Not to mention that stench of Vodka and sweat that hung over the two 'lovers'. Blair could only imagine the state she was in, as the sticky mascara she felt in her eyes and wild nest of hair that had blocked her view said enough.

"I am leaving, now." Blair said storming from the room to pick up any of her clothes that she could find thrown around the apartment.

"I don't know what I thought I'd achieve by…. Uhhh,…. Sleeping with you." Blair said struggling with her sentence as she pulled her tight dress back over her sickeningly sticky body, not bothering with the destroyed corset.

"Neither do I." Dan said, his voice barely a whisper. He looked down at his bed, wondering if his Dad would miss this particular bedding… because it was going to be part of a bonfire soon.

Blair walked back to Dan's room, pulling a heel on as she went, "I think this already applies, but don't tell anyone about this. Don't write it down, don't talk to yourself about it….. You know what don't even think about it. This. Night. Never. Happened."

Dan didn't nod, just stared blankly at Blair Waldorf who now wore her usual unfaltering, disgusted frown. She sighed but humoured him with a quite "Good." before turning sharply and heading for the door.

Her heels echoed, the door slammed. And she was gone, just like that. All that was there to remind Dan of her visit were stained sheets and a few empty bottles of alcohol.

And the unusually heavy feeling that pressed on his pounding heart. He was sure that all Blair thought about as she left was that she hoped she didn't get caught by a Gossip Girl informative on the walk of shame from a Brooklyn apartment to her town car.

But all he could think about was remembering wanting to kiss her again, and hold her, as he wanted to now. The thought made him sick.

He didn't know the feeling was mutual.

* * *

**That's it, please give me comments, praise, constructive criticism, whatever is welcome.**

**The last bit was rushed, admittedly, I just wanted to get it done.**

**Ps. I love Dair**

**xoxo**


	2. Surprising Blair Waldorf

**OK, OK admittedly I forgot about ever even having written this, but lately my passion for Dair has just become enflamed, and I remembered 'OH, didn't I write that awful fanfic about them?', so I thought I'd come back and take a look.**

**Ok, urmm, so Dan and Blair had revenge sex, YAY! But in terms of real Gossip Girl time this hasn't happened, so where we are now in story land is: Chuck hasn't been shot, or slept with that Humphrey girl, Nate and Serena are still together, Georgina is not back carrying Dan's brood. So basically an AU of late season 3. Any questions? Good.**

**Oh! When I wrote chapter one, Chuck hadn't whored Blair out yet, so she wasn't mad about that. Let's say she is this time. Blair is still going to NYU as well, because I want her to be near to Dan.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the rights to Gossip Girl etc. if I did Dan and Blair would be a little more…intimate, by now.**

**Three Days Later**

* * *

8pm- Blair's bedroom, NYU

She had ignored his texts for the last three days, since 'The Incident'. She couldn't yet bring herself to acknowledge that she had willingly partaken in sexual activities with someone from Brooklyn, and Dan Humphrey no less. And out of guilt and shame and anger, she had felt nauseated to even look at her phone in the last few days (although she had looked). There was the case of ignoring the man that had driven her to such drastic measures, but there was also the fact that she couldn't, just _couldn't, _bring herself to face her best friend.

The blonde bombshell of perfection, was of course happy with Nate Archibald now. But that didn't change the fact that Blair had slept with the love-of-her-life-of-two-years. If Serena had slept with Chuck, even now, even after he had whored her out to his uncle then had the audacity to sleep with someone else, Blair would have never forgiven her.

A faint buzzing from her cell phone brought Blair back to reality, where she sat miserably at the edge of her bed in the small, but well decorated, NYU dorm. Another buzz. Blair reached to her dresser and grabbed the phone; 14 missed calls, and 23 unopened texts. All of the texts from Chuck of course, bar one new one, she still read all of Serena's even if it did leave her with an overpowering sense of guilt. 7 missed calls from Chuck Bass. 4 from Serena Vanderwoodsen (the frequent texts were stopping Serena from visiting but not calling apparently). 2 from Nate Archibald. And 1 from Dan Humphrey. Blair sighed inwardly and opened the new text, from Serena.

_I hope ur coming 2nite x- S_

Most of Serena's text the past few days had been about a fashion show, and the after party. She had seen sense in keeping her distance from Blair since the whole Chuck fiasco, and only offered her useless comfort now in the form of '_Hey B, r u OK?- S' _All of which Blair couldn't bring herself to reply to.

Blair looked down at her attire, sensibly black, with the odd slash of white, slim fitting and cutting off just above the knee. Better than what she had worn _that _night. She was dressed for a party, but the prospect of leaving the NYU campus scared her more than anything. She would have to talk to Serena, look her best friend in they eye and try desperately to hide her guilt, and what if she ran into Chuck. Who she was sure she was still in love with. But there was worse. Jenny Humphrey's work was supposed to be in the line up tonight so what if _he _came?

That infuriating boy from Brooklyn who challenged her very being in every way, who tormented her daily, and who she had slept with. What if she had to look into Dan Humphrey's eyes, and pretend like nothing had happened? What if she felt something towards him other than her usual disdain.

_What have I done._

* * *

9:36pm- After Party

The elegantly decorated room was teeming with socialites, designers, and the extremely priviledged. A boy, a man, lent on the mahogany bar alongside a beautiful couple who were locked in a sweet-nothing embrace. But Dan did not care that his best friend and former lover were too enveloped in each other to pay attention to him, he was to on edge to care. This was the first time since…. it happened, that Dan had left the loft, and it had been on the request of a concerned Archibald. _You have been up here for three days, studying and eating take out. Just come to the party. If not for me then for your sister. _Nate had said on a stop off in Brooklyn.

In all fairness, the night had not yet been a total flop. He had chatted with Jenny, when she had not been too busy talking to models, and a few women who Serena had eagerly introduced him to. But the night was still young.. Blair hadn't been at the actual fashion show, and although he had been avoiding her like the plague, he found that right now he wanted her there. The loved up couple had spent all their non together time asking him why he looked like someone had just died. And he was so overridden with guilt, that he was sure he would break soon.

"You came, oh I'm so glad." Serena squealed with delight untangling herself from Nate's arms, where she had resided for 80% of the night, and rushing to an oncoming figure. Blair.

Dan spun around and pressed himself against the bar's edge, his breath caught in his throat, and his eyes squeezed closed. Trying to push down unwanted images of a helpless Blair beneath him. He had been drunk and clumsy that night, but he remembered it well enough; the sex had been good, and Blair, even drunk Blair, was gorgeous.

"What's gotten into you, dude?" Nate said over Dan's shoulder.

"I… well… nothing." Dan replied hastily, tripping over his words.

Nate shrugged and sauntered lazily over to the chatting women, although even where Dan stood he could see the strain on Blair's face. Guilt written all over it. But maybe he was seeing things, maybe she wasn't guilty at all, she was Blair Waldorf after all. Resident bitch and backstabber. Maybe this was just another one of her games. Gossip girl clearly didn't know of the incident, so why would she have to show remorse.

It was time to find out.

Dan walked purposefully over to the group, but with each step he felt weighed down, like a weight pressing on his heart. Slowing him. When he finally reached them all the confidence he could muster was a lazy, "Waldorf."

"Humphrey." Blair returned, her brow furrowed in concentration, "I was hoping to talk to you actually…. about school."

"OK.." he stammered, it had been his intention to have a word with her. Not the other away around.

But as usual, Blair was in control.

* * *

9:42 pm- Hidden around a corner in the hallway.

Blair glared at Dan for a few moments, and he returned the sentiment, as she tried to think of what to say. There was no point in dragging this out, sooner or later they would have talk.

"We have to keep this quiet."

"I can't keep this a secret."

The pair said simultaneously.

"What! Are you crazy, we can't tell anyone, my… our lives will be over." Blair snapped, her arms folded stubbornly across her chest.

"I can't keep this from Serena, it's eating away at me." Dan replied, trying to keep up a calm façade, and failing, "Don't you get that? Do you feel guilty at all?"

"Of course I do! She's my best friend. But what I did, she would never forgive me. Or you."

Dan ran his hand over his face in exasperation, and made a turn on the spot only to face Blair again, who's soft brown eyes looked to the floor in despair. Only she could provoke such a reaction from Dan, usually so calm, within a minute of talking. Suddenly he just felt as if she should be taking the blame for their situation.

"I can't believe you Blair. This is your fault! You're going to have to face the consequences." He said in a hushed growl at her, her head snapped up in response fury in her eyes.

"MY FAULT! I didn't see you complaining when you were screaming my name!" She barked back, taking a step closer to Dan, so their bodies were dangerously close.

"YOU were the one who came to ME! What was it Blair, hey? Revenge against Bass? What were you thinking!"

Blair could only let out a muffled scream of anger at this, her cheeks were flushed and she was baring her teeth at Dan like some kind of animal. But they stood close to each other, Dan looking down at the girl with hatred dancing in his eyes.

A moment of heated silence passed between the pair. And for the life of him, Dan could not fathom why he did what he did next.

He grasped both of Blair's shoulders with his hands and pulled her against him, crushing his lips against hers. He trapped her in a smothering kiss, demanding and heated, nothing but furious passion sizzling there. Blair was so stunned that she didn't realize for a few seconds that she was returning the kiss with just as much force as Dan. His tongue skimmed along her bottom lip begging, no demanding, entrance, and Blair complied, letting him explore her. His hands loosened on her shoulders, one moving to her neck, where he held her jaw. Her hands had grabbed the front of his suit in fury, and now her fists tightened on the handfuls of fabric until her knuckles turned white. The kiss was angry and desperate, and there was something else to it that neither of them understood, but they carried on. Tongues dancing fervently, and bodies pressed together.

"Dan!" A voice echoed down the hall, and immediately Dan and Blair tore away from each other, their faces flushed and both gasping for the air the other had taken out of their lungs.

"Dan." The voice of Jenny Humphrey neared to their position in a doorway, Blair managed to straighten her dress and smooth back her hair before Dan's sister appeared around the corner.

"There you are! I have some people I wanted you to meet." Jenny said with a smile and on spotting Blair, "Oh…. Hi Blair."

Blair offered a fake smile to the girl before turning on her heels, not without one last word to Dan however, "I hate you, Humphrey." She bit, and her words could not have been truer at that moment.

She hated him. Hated him for making her feel so guilty. Hated him for confusing her so much. She hated him for turning meaningless sex into something else, something she couldn't place her finger on. Only he could make her blood boil like that, in such a raw angry way, and then to turn that anger into lust. What had happened to her?

"The sentiment's returned Waldorf." He barked at her retreating figure, his mind a jumble, his heart beating so much under his borrowed suit, that he was sure a confused looking Jenny could see it thumping.

"What was that about?" His not-so-little sister asked.

"I have no idea." Dan sighed.

Because he really didn't know.

* * *

**What a crap chapter, I know. But I plan on actually updating now, so I just had to get into it with a rushed thing.**

**Pleeeeeaaaaassseee review, you can be constructive just not nasty. Because I might cry.**


	3. Denying Chuck Bass

**It took me like four months for chapter 2 and I get chapter 3 up just two days later. Woop. **

**Urgh OK Dan does seem uncharacteristically aggressive, but he has to be known to get mad before! OK, fine I'll stop, Blair can be the more assertive one I guess, although she'll be the one who is going to outright deny she even as much as likes him for most of the time….**

**I got a BETA to check this over, but she's not the most assertive. Oh don't look like that Jess, you know it. **

**Disclaimer: Gossip Girl is sadly not mine, because if it was Vanessa would be a little more dead by now.**

12:30am- The After Party.

Blair brushed her fingers lightly over her lips, and winced back at the touch. As if his lips had blistered hers. She hated him. Because it wasn't just sex anymore. It was that kiss. And it was confusion. She had been sitting at the bar watch the party sizzle to nothing around her and wallowing in self pity, only seeing Dan once more that night amongst a gaggle of leggy models. The sight of them swaning around him and him laughing easily, made acid bubble up in her throat. She hated him for making her feel like that, for no reason.

"Hey Blair," a soft voice sang from behind her, "Are you OK?"

Blair turned to Serena, looking anywhere but her eyes, in case they betrayed her, "Yeah, I'm just tired."

The lie fell not believed on Serena's ears, but of course in Serena's mind Blair lied about the hurt caused by Chuck, not the guilt by Dan, "I was wondering if you wanted to come and stay with me and Nate. Before you say no, Chuck won't be there."

12:45am- The Empire

So that's how Blair found herself in her ex- boyfriend's penthouse hotel room, sprawled across the red sofa with her head in her best friends lap, something she had not done since before Serena had left. Blair was finding it hard to keep away the stinging tears at Serena's kindness, when she was keeping a secret about doing something so... Blair. After a long stretch of silence, since Nate had slunk to his room, Blair finally spoke.

"So Nate's still living here then." she sighed, not attempting to mask the betrayal in her voice.

"He's got nowhere else to go, Blair." Serena said, which made Blair sit up, and after fighting off a cascade of golden hair, she cast her friend a skeptical look, "He's keeping up a front with Chuck though, we're on your side don't worry. Not for Chuck trying though."

Blair could not help but flinch inwardly at each time Serena said Chuck's name. On another occasion, she would be mad at Nate and Serena for staying in such close proximity with the boy billionaire. But while, physically, what she had done she didn't think worse than Chuck's deeds, it would hurt more than just herself if it got out.

"What he did, not just with Jack, with all of it was... disgusting, for lack if a better word." Serena looked over to Blair, "But you're Blair Waldorf. You're better than this, so just... don't do anything rash OK?"

Blair let out a tearless sob at that, and in response Serena pulled her into a crushing hug, telling her everything would be fine. They stayed like that for a while, Serena with her silent understanding of something she knew nothing about, until Blair let out a lion sized yawn. Serena left Blair with a blanket, a pillow, and her thoughts.

It was pointless trying to ward them off as she drifted to sleep, thoughts of the man who betrayed her, who she loved, and his haunting eyes. And thoughts of the man she had betrayed with, who she hated, and his burning lips.

That kiss. What was that.

4:30am- The Plaza

The ding of the elevator announced his arrival and woke Blair, who sat bolt upright, with a start. He didn't have a girl on his arm, as Blair had come to expect, and his hair was perfectly slicked back. Not a strand out of place. He looked simply regal in the light of the elevator, in his sharp Armani suit, red tie perfectly in place and bold against the black. Chuck Bass was the picture of wealth and aristocracy. The sight disgruntled Blair more than she would have liked. Where was the desperate, broken shell of a man at losing the love of his life? Of course she knew how to make him squirm. But it meant hurting Serena, and ruining her own life. And Dan Humphrey's. Blair mentally scolded herself for caring about what would happen to Dan.

"Blair?" Chuck said finally spotting her, his dark eyes fixing on her and his jaw setting into a tense line, "What are you doing here?"

As Chuck took a few steps forward, Blair jumped from the sofa, pulling down the dress she had reluctantly gone to sleep in, and snapped, "Serena invited me… I was just leaving."

Without a second thought Blair made a dash for the closing elevator, it was selfish and weak of her but she just couldn't face him. It seemed it was not her choice, as her upper arm was caught in Chuck's grip, spinning her to face him.

"Please, Blair, can't we talk?" Chuck said calmly, releasing her arm and stepping closer.

"We have nothing to talk about, Chuck." She spat, saying his name as if it was an insult, only to cover up the fact that this close she could get lost in the smell of his familiar intoxicating cologne perfectly.

"Please." He said again, more of an edge to his voice this time, "I made a mistake. I'm sorry."

"Yeah you look really broken up about it." She said with a trade mark Waldorf glare.

"You have no idea." His voice a mix of anger and sorrow.

She could never quite fathom Chuck Bass, their last encounter had been screaming at one another, and now this? She looked up at him, and his eyes softened as they met hers, and she couldn't help but feel the ghost of old feelings tug on her heart. It was possible, to forgive him. Right then. In her mind, what she had done matched his 'mistake'. They had still been together to an extent, when he had sought whatever it was in another woman's arms. But she had been a stranger, with no strings attached. And Humphrey was not, and it seemed there were.

She could do it, she could forgive him. Blair turned herself to face him fully, and placing her hands on his face, and without thinking she lent up to give him a chaste kiss. She made to pull away, to gouge his reaction, but was held against his lips by a hand that snaked through her hair, and another that wrapped itself around her slim waist. The kiss was soft, lips and bodies barely moving. But Blair still relished in the familiar taste, the familiar softness of his lips, the familiar aching she got for more. _He__ was so much less experienced than Chuck, didn't know what to do with his hands, _Blair found herself thinking, before she could hold back the thought. Chuck didn't notice Blair's lips stall, and carried on, intensity rising, hands moving along her body. She ignored that absence, the absence of the fire his touch used to trail along her skin, _It only felt like that with him because you were drunk. _Blair couldn't understand, what this voice at the back of her mind was talking about, she almost forgot about Chuck as he gently ran his tongue along her lip, _He was so much angrier than this, so uncharacteristic of Humprhey. _

Blair broke the kiss at that, her head turning to the side quickly, so Chuck was left to bury his face into the hair that sat messily on the side of her face.

"What's wrong?" He breathed in her ear, and Blair could hear the scowl in his voice.

What's wrong? What was she to say to that, _I can't stop comparing you to Dan Humprhey. I'm thinking of him when you're kissing me, and I have no idea why. The only reason I'm doing this is because I feel guilty. _Blair ignored her minds suggestions, and choked out a lie, "I just can't, I thought I could forgive you…. But what you did."

Chuck pulled back, his hands dropping from her sides, anger rising in his voice, "But it was you who kissed…"

"I know." Blair cut him off, and doing the only thing she could in a moment like that she looked at him coldly and said, "We all make _mistakes._"

She should know, she had made the worst of them. Blair hopped into the elevator, leaving Chuck angry and broken. She should feel smug really, braking him so easily, but in light of past events she could do nothing but stare at her feet regretfully, as the doors closed.

She stood in the lobby of The Empire, at a loss for what to do. How un-Blair of her, she always had a plot or a plan. Something. Anything. But there was nothing to be plotted this time, it was a scheme that had landed her here. Things had to be resolved, she had to get Dan Humphrey out of her head.

Even if it meant another late night trip to Brooklyn.

5:00am- Brooklyn… again.

Dan grumbled at the early morning disturbance, the second that week, but pulled himself out of bed. After rubbing his eyes in irritation he looked over to his alarm clock, and grunted at the sight _5:00am. _But he walked across the loft all the same, flicking lights on as he went, to the angry beating of the door. With reluctance he pulled the door open.

"Flannel and cotton, Humprhey, really?" Was the first thing that came form Blair Waldorf's mouth as she looked at his sleeping attire with obvious disdain.

"I hope you're not making a habit of turning up on my doorstep drunk, Blair." Dan said weakly.

"I'm not drunk." She bit, and a part from the fact she was still her clothes from the party, and her hair looked… slept on, Blair looked completely sober. And angry. Her cheeks were flushed with a rosy tint, Dan noticed, hair tumbling in deep brown locks around her face, where her jaw clenched and doe brown eyes narrowed. A dangerous beauty.

Dan tipped his head forward, to stop himself from staring at Blair, and ran his hand back through bed tossed black hair. She wasn't here to…. get revenge again. That much was clear. Why did Dan feel a twang of disappointment wash over him? _For the same reason you kissed her, I guess. _Dan thought bitterly. He had not stopped thinking about that kiss since it had happened, since _he _had kissed _her. _He had never been assertive or aggressive, and to do it with Blair was unfathomable. He had told himself it was just to _see _what it was like, because she was beautiful, only a fool would deny it. Not his type but pretty all the same.

Blair was quick to get past him into the loft, and his voice dripping with sarcasm Dan said, "Oh please… come in."

"We need to talk, Humphrey." Blair said in a monotonous voice, trying desperately not give anything away, "You kissed me."

"Well this should be fun,"

**That was quick and short. Too much Chuck, and in terms of Dair rather boring. Oh well…..**

**Thank-you so much for all the reviews (and favoriting the story and etc.)! I love you. But don't stop, I could always do with some more ;)**

**Ok Right, so I sort of know where I want to go, but I'm at a loss of how to get there. I didn't think this out at all, I'm more of a one-shot then see where it goes sort of person. So, well, if you could, please help me! Creative input would be much appreciated right now. Haha! How terrible am I. I'm a very inconsistent writer, it's not to be helped i'm afraid. **


	4. Lying to Vanessa Abrams

**I'M SORRY! I got swamped and forgot again, I have a really terrible work ethic, but I'm here now and that's what counts.**

**Thank-you for all your wonderful support. You guys are awesome ;)**

**So I was reading through the chapters and was becoming increasingly annoyed at the constant shifts in consciousness, so now I'm alternating between Dan and Blair in each chapter. This is Dan's. I am also getting bored of my own story because of the lack of urggh physical contact, but for it to be plausible I must restrain myself. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the right to Gossip Girl, if I did Georgina would still be around. This is purely for an attempt at entertainment purposes.**

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5:05am- The Loft.

Sitting in the centre of the green couch, Dan lent forward, his elbows resting on his lap and hands smothering his mouth. He stared at the bookcase past Blair's head, unable to glance at her unreadable face. Precariously she was perched on the edge of the tatty brown recliner across form Dan, her hands crossed atop her lap majestically. She could not have looked more out of place if she had tried. Dan had been waiting, dreading, for Blair to attack him with her biting words, but for five minutes a silence lingered over the loft, thick in the air. Dan felt his eyelids strain under the pressure of too many sleepless nights as he counted the seconds that an unresolved tension stirred around the two unfortunates listlessly.

He even, for a moment, found himself wishing she would sneer at his 'horrendous' blue plaid trousers and grey flannel shirt.

"Blair, can we just…. will you just…." Dan faltered as Blair's bottomless eyes locked onto his in an uncertain stare. He had only felt this unsteady, like a child on his first steps, with one other, and he was sure that was for a whole different set of reasons.

Eyebrows knitted together, she wrung her hands in her lap before leaning forward, "That night… it meant _nothing _to you, right? I mean, it was the alcohol."

It was not a question, even though it came from her lips that way. He knew what she wanted to hear, the lines she expected him to deliver. However, Dan had never seen Blair Waldorf look so sternly worried. The familiar orange street light casting a shadow of doubt across her face. Dan had only seen Blair concerned over two things before this: when in her search for power, and when under the influence of Chuck Bass.

Finally Dan sat up, and with more confidence then he felt said, "Of Course, of course it meant nothing."

Blair pressed her lips into a tight line, and after a moment uttered "Then why?"

_Then why kiss me? _Were the words she really wanted to say, the ones that dared not leave her mouth, Dan could tell.

"I wish I could answer that Blair." Dan sighed, "It was just something I had to do…. an impulse. An empty one at that."

The moment the words fell from his mouth, Dan knew they were a lie, but he hid in his silence, because he had no idea why he was lying. Rubbing his hand over his face a few times, Dan slumped back into the mountain of cushions behind him, a sigh instinctively escaping as he flopped back. Blair's face was as impassive as ever, but somewhere behind those intoxicating eyes the cogs were turning, trying to compute the situation.

Dan wondered if she was having more luck than he was. It was like trying to work out what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. A collision of epic proportions, Dan thought. Either way, they were an impossible equation. Dan just had to remember that boys like Dan Humphrey and girls like Blair Waldorf, did not have happy endings, and so it would be in his best interest to ignore the odd stuttering of his heart when he thought about kissing her… touching her.

"You don't seem so eager to tell Serena now." Blair's voice rang, finding Dan in the depths of his mind.

_Well it's different now, even if I don't know why, _he thought, but instead said, "There's no point in hurting her… or anyone, unnecessarily."

Blair nodded in agreement and he knew they were both thinking the same thing, '_What they don't know won't hurt them_.' It all felt very cliché, Dan could practically hear Blair's, "But it works… every time." speech after the swimming pool fiasco. When had things gotten so _High School?_

"Exactly." Blair breathed and stood abruptly, wanting to maintain control of the situation, not wanting to contort 'Humphrey's' sense of power, Dan knew it must be hard for her, knowing he had held all the power _that_ night.

Mirroring her movements Dan jumped up, but with half the grace, and instead of placing his hands on his hips like Blair, he folded his arms across his chest, involuntarily flexing muscles as he did. For a moment, just a second, Dan thought he saw Blair's mask falter as she looked at him with a gulp. The change was too fast to consider as something worth mentioning, but Dan still shot Blair a bewildered look, before letting his eyes flicker away again.

"Goodnight Humphrey." Blair said softly, letting a smile creep onto her lips as she saw Dan had already pulled the door to the loft open.

"Night Waldorf." Dan replied as she swept past with her unrefined grace, taking a deep breath of her sweet scent as she passed, then mentally berating himself for doing so.

Closing the door after the tapping of Blair's stabbing heels had died away, Dan lent his head against the cool wood and let out a sigh. That was the second time in a week that Blair had left the loft, leaving Dan reeling.

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05:23am- Still in the loft. 

Unbelievably, Dan had not even had time to crawl miserably back into bed before _another_ sharp knock announced the arrival of _another _unwelcome visitor.

Opening the door, he was greeted by a disheveled girl. Vanessa Abrams was truly a sight, and not one for sore eyes either. Her wild hair was flung around her face, more so of a birds nest than usual, and there were deep purple lines under eyes which were topped with an unattractive scowl.

"You don't usually knock." Dan said light-heartedly in an attempt the scare away the thundercloud Vanessa seemed to be carrying with her, but she just looked pointedly at the array of suitcases she was trying to drag in.

"Oh, right." And Dan picked up the heaviest looking one, dumping it on the couch inside, "So…. why are you here exactly?"

She let out a huff at this before saying, "I had to get away from my mom, she was driving me insane. I texted you… saying I would be back from Vermont early. You did say I could stay here, right?"

"Yeah, of course." Dan looked apologetic before glancing over his shoulder to his room where his phone lay untouched.

After bombarding Blair with texts a few days earlier, he had feared the worst and shied away from any technology. Especially things that could deliver him his death warrant in the form of a gossip girl blast.

"You can take my room tonight, I'll sleep on the couch." Dan said in a sort of defeated voice that made his medelling friend cast a worried glance his way.

Vanessa turned away looking, for a moment, like she would leave whatever played on her mind well alone. But when she turned back her eyes were glinting with a number of conflicting emotions. Curiosity, concern and very obviously, fury.

"I passed Blair, on my way up here." She said with a hint of venom that would be impossible to miss.

Dan turned to face his friend, his look truly now one of defeat, with the corners of his mouth tugging downward and the bags under his eyes reflecting the girl's across from him. Rubbing the back of his neck guiltily, Dan waited for Vanessa to continue.

"So what? Is she making house calls to castigate you now?"

"Urhhh, no. It wasn't like that. She just came…" _to make sure I didn't let on about us sleeping together, _"…to talk about Serena."

"Serena?"

_Bad lie Dan, awful, awful way to start a lie. _"Yeah, I don't know really, there's something going on with Serena and Nate."

"Well, when isn't there something going on with Serena." Dan had to hold back a bitter 'What's that supposed to mean?' at that, "What is it now, she dump him for her Daddy? No wait, is she the one who slept with Chuck?"

Vanessa let out a spiteful laugh at this, and Dan could only grit his teeth and bare it. His annoyance, he realized, was partially because of that unending love for his childhood sweetheart, but undeniably also because now he realized why Blair had come to him two nights ago. Of course, he had caught a hint of it when she had come to the loft, drunk and upset, only one plan of action in mind, nothing to sway her from her path. But had he imagined that it was all for revenge, revenge against Bass after that Gossip Girl blast of betrayal, no he had not. He had desperately convinced himself that there was something else there, but there was not, and now a hole had been left, some semblance of disappointment, in his confused heart.

"Dan?" a voice echoed through his frustration.

"Oh yeah, sorry, you can go back to the dorms whenever you want." Dan answered a question he had not realised he'd heard, his mouth moving independently from his mind as his fists clenched at his side.

Vanessa shuffled to Dan's room as he slumped himself onto the couch, acidic anger coursing through his veins. Why did he feel like this? If anything, knowing that what they had done was all part of a plot of revenge should make it easier. If there was no comfort involved, nothing akin to true feelings, then the end result would be that much simpler. Then why was he still mad? Maybe even a little…. jealous, that she had come to him just to make Chuck mad.

This was not Dan Humphrey.

Dan Humphrey was a worrier, but he did not anger easily, he was at least a little bit humble, not so vain as to think someone who hated him would just sleep with him because they couldn't resist, and either way he was a hypocrite.

In less than a week Blair Waldorf had turned Dan Humphrey from Brooklyn, into a liar. Creating a volcano of undiluted…. _confusion_? Not angry, just confused.

So as Dan jumped from the sofa, left the loft, slammed the door, ignored the distant yell of 'WHERE ARE YOU GOING?' and hailed a taxi, he was certain that this was not Dan Humphrey; merely a façade of him.

It was not Dan Humphrey who told the taxi driver to got to NYU, (06:03am- NYU) who marched all too purposefully up the stairs of the dorm. Nor could it be Dan Humphrey who curled his hand into a fist and knocked, _one, two, three, _times hard on Blair Waldorf's door, ready to demand an explanation for coming to his house and for doing what she did.

It was not Da….. it might be... it _was_ Dan Humphrey, who thought, just for a fleeting moment, that the second she opened the door he would steal her lips, capture them with his own. Hold her like he hadn't had the chance to that night.

It was definitely Dan who's anger started to disappear as he realized what he was doing, letting out a long winded and pitiful sigh like a deflated balloon.

It was just as well that no one answered the door, as Dan came to terms with the realization of his feelings. The realization that his anger and confusion was because he was… could be…. may possibly…. be on the edge of falling in love with Blair Waldorf.

He lent against her dorm door, sliding down it until he met the ground, where he sat with head in hands, "Oh, shit."

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**I realise Dan is, once again, uncharacteristicly angry towards the end. But actually, Dan in love with Serena was impulsive and bold because of that love, so yeah. Anyway, he just had to come to terms with what he was feeling, now he can be Dan again.**

**Please review, I can't survive without your words, they're like my nourishment NOM NOM NOM.**

**That reminds me, does anyone want to be my BETA? Or at least know how I can get one?**


	5. PART 1:Concerning S & Letting Go of C

**A/N: Right, yes, long wait, I know. You should expect it really, with my bad work ethic. But here is another chapter.**

**WAIT, no just **_**half **_**of a chapter. You see every now and then I will write a little more of the newest chapter until I think it's done (never really knowing where it's going), and this one just KEPT ON GOING. Soooo this is only half of chapter 5. **

'**Concerning Serena Van Der Woodsen and Letting Go of Chuck Bass', the latter half of that title will make sense in the latter half of this chapter. See?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Gossip Girl, if I did Chuck would be less of a BASTARD.**

**Enjoy.**

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_His fingertips traced the line of her collarbone, barely touching her but leaving a trail of tingling fire in his wake. Fingertips were replaced with light kisses along the nape of her neck, and she shuddered in pure ecstasy as the inside of her milky thighs were brushed lightly by his own leg, and turning her head she met his deep hazel eyes with her own chocolate ones. And as she stared into his, feeling a warmth spread through her like no sensation she had felt before, and edged her way closer to the curve of his body, the reflection of her own eyes in his changed, so she could almost see a flash of blue. Bringing her hands up in alarm to push him away, she was met by his toned, bare chest, and thinking she felt there lovingly he returned to kissing along her neck and down to her arms. He was so soft; gentler than any man she had been with before, that she could only sigh. That sigh was not her own. Turning to him in shock she saw him run his long, apt fingers delicately through her brunette curls, and as his fingers ran through, he left a trail of dazzling gold in his wake. _

_"Dan!" she said aloud in a sing song soprano voice that she had heard before but was not her own. _

_He turned and smiled at her, timid but sinister, that smile did not belong to him though, it belonged to a certain Bass who's name escaped her at that time, "Serena?" _

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9am- Blair's bedroom. 

Gasping for air as if she had just come up from under water, Blair sat up in her bed, startled. It all felt very cliché, but Blair Waldorf was no stranger to wicked dreams. But usually she was the star in a Hepburn classic, not the punch line of some messed up psychological joke. Throwing the covers back, Blair clambered out of bed, and was met by the familiar sight of _her _bedroom. She was never one for fung shui, but there was something about the decor of her room that just felt right. It was why she had come back to the penthouse instead of NYU to catch a couple of hours of sleep, she needed somewhere that felt _right_ to her after that conversation with Humphrey.

Haphazardly Blair wondered back and forth in front of her bed, trying her best to clear her head of her dreaming terrors. It did not take a genius to realize that she was feeling guilty for having had, it was hard to even think, slept with Serena's once-upon- a- time- one- and- only but that did not explain the aching, longing for more, she felt between her legs at having cut the dream so short. Her phone buzzed from the nightstand, and Blair considered just ignoring the text, from whoever it was, forever. Or stamping on her phone until the screen cracked, or throwing it out her window to be run over by a thousand turbulent taxis. However, she picked it up and warily read the text,

_I won't come to the benefit tonight if you don't want me there- C.B. _

Outwardly, and over dramatically, Blair sighed, she had forgotten about the benefit for... It was the season of parties and dinners, high class or not, she was expected to attend them all but when there were more than two in a week, she was not expected to remember what they were for. Blair had no chance to text back before a second text flashed up.

_B, where did u go this morning? Mom's dinner for tht charity she is trying to shve dwn our throats 4 publicity is 2nite, pls just come round at 6 - S xxx _

Blair told Serena she could count on her best friend (then felt a pang of guilt in the pit of her stomach), and told Chuck that he didn't have to check anything with her, and to stop pretending he cared what she wanted, plus a few nasty words (then felt that guilt deepen), before sitting down. Missing her bed completely, Blair fell to the floor with a thud, but she didn't care. Letting out a dry sob, she tucked her head between her knees and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. The feeling of guilt, the one corroding her from the inside out, was not a hard one to pinpoint. But there was something else eating at her, making her feel hopelessly lost, that was not quite as simple to grasp.

All Blair knew was that right then, on her floor with her fingers wrapped in her hair and tugging hard, she felt as though she was missing a piece.

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6pm- The Van Der Woodsen apartment. 

An hour later, Dorota, who Blair learnt had been standing outside of Blair's door at NYU all morning, had rushed in and pulled the pitiful girl up from her sorry state. Within an hour, with Dorota's barks of encouragement from the other side of the door, Blair was washed and dressed. Dorota did not know what had Blair looking so empty, and Blair refused to tell, but she was sure a dose of retail therapy would rid her of her worries. The truth is, the pointless throwing away of money on clothes (OH GOD! She was even starting to think that buying clothes was pointless!) numbed the hollow feeling, but she was not rid of it. On the upside, Blair did find the perfect dress, one shouldered with lilac folds that fell perfectly around her top half before smoothing out, to face her ex boyfriend and the best friend she'd betrayed. And after eating she jumped into her perfect fear-facing dress and went round the Van Der Woodsen's apartment to meet Serena.

"Blair!" Serena's voice rang out before the elevator doors had even fully opened. Blair was suddenly enveloped by Serena, a crushingly tight hug restricting her breathing to a minimum.

"B! I was so worried!" Serena crooned, stroking Blair's perfectly curled hair.

Finally, she released Blair but held her back by the shoulders at arms length to look her once over with subdued approval. Blair cast an eye over her friend in a similar manner, but she did not linger on the cream strapless dress, that fell perfectly over the girl's curves, for long. The oncoming summer sun sat high in the heavens and its heavy rays spilled through the windows and tangled around the blonde, illuminating her concern and love angelically. If Blair gave any notion of the guilt corroding her at that concern, Serena gave no sign of knowing. And Blair would rather have liked to keep it that way. So she did what she did best, she buried her true feelings and replaced them with a disdain, one that came all too naturally.

"Don't be so melodramatic, S." Blair said plainly, with a hint of bitterness, and raised her hands to wave Serena away dismissively, "Chuck came back and I didn't care to stick around."

Serena moved away, disappointment flickering across sinfully blue eyes for only seconds before being replaced by a carefree slack. Serena had her own defense mechanisms it seemed.

"I am sorry about Chuck." Serena said, her face was neutral but her voice, laden with pity, betrayed her.

'_Sorry about Chuck'_, that sentence could cover a whole spectrum of Bass related incidents, but Blair just said blandly, "It's fine. Should we get going?"

"I guess." Serena said her voice laced with a childish reluctance, Lily's benefits were not really a specialty of hers, "OH! wait!"

"What?" Blair turned to see Serena spin dramatically on her heels, coming full circle.

"We have to wait for Rufus, he's gone to Brooklyn to drag Dan away from the loft. He refused to leave for some reason."

"Dan's coming..." Blair hummed slightly, and then with uncertain pacing she said, "You're not.. You're not getting back together with him, are you?"

_Why did I ask her that,_ Blair thought scornfully. And although her mind remained blind and stubborn, her body worked of it's own accord with hands fluttering nervously, and brow creased in some form of worry.

"What!" Serena jumped slightly on the spot, always one for theatrics, "No! Noooo. I'm with Nate... _remember_! Why would you care anyway?"

"You're my... best friend." Blair said, thinking on her feet, "It's just, you guys always end up hurting each other. I don't want to see that happen again."

Briefly Serena nodded, seemingly accepting the answer, but if Blair hadn't have known the trusting girl so well, she would of sworn that a trace of suspicion flashed along her perfect features. However if she had wanted to say anything privy on it, her chance passed as the ding of the elevator signaled a new arrival.

"Dan!" Serena shrieked, so loud that Blair thought she was comparable to some sort of harpy.

Keeping her eyes fixed solidly on the floor, as Serena bounced to hug Dan, Blair let her curls fall over her face like curtains, hiding her shame.

"Are you coming, Waldorf?" Dan said numbly, after he had exchanged pleasantries with Serena, casting a weary eye over Blair who looked, at that moment, like a little girl caught stealing.

Stifling a pitiful whimper, Blair finally looked up to find two pairs of eyes fixed on her. One pair, a brilliant blue, concerned and now definitely suspicious, the other, a deep could-lose-yourself-in-them brown, edgy and nervous but otherwise impassive.

"Couldn't have just called up, Humphrey?" Blair scowled, unintentionally letting her mouth linger over the name.

"I didn't think you would be here." he said, voice lacking that sarcastic bite, seeming subdued.

Apprehensively Blair looked the boy over, once again uncharacteristically ignoring the black suit ensemble. Heavy circles underlined his eyes, hair stuck up in every direction as if he had ran his hands through it in frustration the way Blair had seen him do before. More noticeably, Dan stood as far as he could from Serena in the elevator, with shoulders hunched up and eyes cast downwards as Blair's had been. He looked like a broken man, and Blair knew it was not easy to break Dan Humphrey. She had tried.

"B, you're not going to catch anything if you step into the elevator with him." Serena said, with an airy laugh, trying to ease the palpable tension. Not that she had any idea of why the tension was.

"I wouldn't be so sure." Blair cast a sardonic look at him, mouth opening and closing as if tasting the filth that was Dan Humphrey.

Reluctantly Blair shifted to one side of Serena, so that she acted as a sort of barrier between herself and Dan, and watched the elevator doors slide close. And so proceeded the longest elevator ride of her life.

* * *

6:30pm- Easily the dullest party any 19 year old has ever been to.

If one could even call it a party. The top of New York's society, tight lipped, with bursting wallets and elegantly dressed, sipped champagne under the golden light of the grand hall's chandeliers. The occasion screamed high society with the sounds of clinking glasses and subdued chatter. A series of well dressed tables were placed around the hall, strategically of course so that those who ended up sitting on one of the three larger were known to be 'more important', with the red table coverings matching the crimson drapes, that hung over threateningly high windows. The few V.I.P. tables sat around the stage, which for now was only occupied with banners and posters of various, well-known charities.

The odd group arrived just before everyone took their seats, with Rufus chattering happily to the three teenagers about nothing in particular. Blair actually found herself mildly interested, and more than slightly amused, with the charming man's ramblings. Such a shame that his better qualities weren't passed down the family line.

"Wait, is this benefit for Bass industries?" Blair asked Rufus, who straightened his tie accordingly, as Dan and Serena went to find their seats at one of the three 'privileged' tables.

"Yes, Lily is quite adamant in making Bass Industries seem more... charitable. Fixing the damage caused by Bart." Rufus answered, and Blair couldn't help but notice a hint of bitterness to his voice. She guessed adults had their own problems of love.

"Chuck would have to come regardless of what I wanted. Why did he even offer not to?" Blair muttered angrily under her breath, earning a look of passive concern from Rufus (one that echoed perfectly a look she had seen on Dan's face), but she just stalked away from him.

Walking purposefully, but with no clear purpose in mind, Blair paced over to Serena who had been abandoned by Dan in favor of the open bar. Serena was peering into each of the name cards on the table, and moving them at her whim, the corners of her mouth tugged down in concentration, a look she wore at the simplest of tasks.

"Ok, you can either sit to my left, but across from Chuck, or to my right and end up between me and Dan." Serena said as Blair approached, dropping and picking up name cards as she shifted them around, then finally looking up to find the fury etched on Blair's face, "B! Are you OK?"

"Fine, I'm just…." Blair took a deep breath, "… over reacting."

"Well if you're sure." Serena said monotonously, clearly not really caring for Blair's dramatics right then.

Blair thought about the carful balance of love and hypocrisy that their friendship precariously balanced on, as she watched Serena tuck blonde strands behind her ears just a tad to forcefully, agitated that she had to attend her mother's due. Relationships had been strained, Blair had heard down the grape vine, although she would have much preferred to hear it straight from the source.

"So," Serena said, with a hint of mischief, "Chuck or Dan?"

Now if she had only understood how important that question was.

* * *

**A/N: I suppose I shall have part two up in the next week or so. It is almost finished after all. **

**DB ACTION IN THE NEXT CHAPTER SO STICK AROUND!**

**Don't get your hopes up though.**

**REVIEW! Or I'll just stop putting up new chapter all together. THAT'S RIGHT! An ultimatum. **

**Thanks if you reviewed before, and thanks if you subscribed (there were a lot of those) but you should review as well. **


	6. PART 2:Concerning S & Letting Go of C

**Chapter 5 Part 2: Concerning Serena Van Der Woodsen and Letting Go of Chuck Bass**

**A/N: Not much Dan and Blair in the last half of the chapter and even more Chuck now, but you have to understand, as I am struggling to myself, that Chuck and Serena (and almost everyone else) are a big part of Dan and Blair's lives and so if they were to actually happen on Gossip Girl we would see a lot of Chuck and Serena too. I'm just trying to stay true to GG. **

**Ok, I lied about it being a week. But what can I say… I'm lazy. Sorry.**

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* * *

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6:45 Half way through the first course.

Blair sipped at her soup intermittently, eyes cast downwards and yet to utter a single word to the table full of noble men and scholars. There was a space in Blair's mind, as there constantly was, ticking over, thinking of each person that sat at that table with significant standing or power, and thinking of how Blair could charm them to use this power to her advantage. And yet she acted on none of it. Serena was bound to notice her placidness soon; this was Blair Waldorf after all, she who would do anything to climb the social ladder. The seat across from her remained empty, and this was at least some form of relief.

Yes, she had chosen to sit across from Chuck, rather than next to Dan. And as much as she denied it, she only chose not to sit next to him because she had actually wanted to. Childish really, having the urge to hold his hand beneath the table and brush his thigh with her own. Blair chalked this down to animal instinct and nothing more. However, there were no primal urges in just wanting to _talk _to him, or to hear that laugh when she sent him an insulting comment, or see that smile when he realized that maybe they had something in common. No, Blair could not think of any suitable excuses for those things. And that scared her.

So she remained uncommonly silent for as long as she possibly could. As long as she possibly could ending with the scrapping of a chair across the wooden paneled floor, the uncomfortable coughing or roughly three people around (Blair identified them as Lily, Eric and Serena) and the just one word from another.

"Blair." Chuck greeted, somewhat indignantly.

He was angry with her. _Well of course he is_, Blair's sub-conscience scolded her. She had dangled forgiveness in his face then pulled it back just when he had gotten a taste. But Chuck had no right to be angry or disappointed after what he had done. Hypocrisy makes the world go round, Blair sighed inwardly at her own double standards.

She wasn't angry with him anymore because she didn't deserve to be. She had done something equally as disgusting. But that didn't mean she could just fall back into his arms, no, things had become so much more complicated since then.

Blair loved _him_, with almost every ounce of her being, but she realized, as he sat across from her with that stormy look in his eye, there was not one single thing that she loved _about_ him. Not anymore. Each trait and feature of Chuck had been distorted hideously in Blair's eyes to suit her image of what a dishonest, cheating, man was like. His confidence now just self-importance and audacity, his cunning just ugly deceit. Every smile she remembered as a snarl and every look of passion a look of cheap hunger. His love was a lie to her, and yet she would sooner take the lies of the beautiful monster than go without his affection.

She had told herself that the abhorrent angel, Chuck Bass, was the only meaningful thing she had left. However, somewhere within her, somewhere deep and dark and hidden, Blair was finally letting go of him, and turning to another. And she refused to acknowledge who that person was.

Looking up from her plate, Blair sheepishly glanced at Chuck. She had only one way of escaping him, escaping his all consuming love, and she knew it would destroy him. She had to move on.

"I'm sorry." Blair said gingerly, keeping her eyes locked onto Chuck's head as he stared down at his plate.

"What?" Chuck snarled at her, viciously, but when he looked up his eyes were clouded with confusion and concern, "What do you have to be sorry for?"

Blair was taken back by the question, because of course, in his eyes; there was only one thing she had to be sorry for. And it wasn't on par with his wrongdoing.

Blair took a deep breath, crushing those butterflies once and for all, and said, "I'm sorry that I led you on."

Chuck opened his mouth to protest, but Blair waved him down, "and I'm sorry that I can't do this anymore. I can't go on, and pretend that everything is OK when it's not."

"B-Blair" Chuck choked out, his throat closing up, "I said I'm sorry... I can't do anything else... I'm sorry."

Though chatter still resounded around the grand hall, everyone around Chuck and Blair had fallen silent. All eyes on them.

"Don't be sorry," Blair could only whisper now, Chuck's emotion reflecting her own, "you slept with someone else... But it's done, and I- I forgive you."

A hand found Blair's leg under the table, squeezing comfortingly. Blair gave Serena a shaky smile, which she could not seem to return, before continuing, "I love you. I don't know when- if that'll ever change. But I don't trust you anymore. You look like a different person to me."

Slowly, tears pooled at the bottom of her eyes, she held them in but suddenly Blair couldn't believe she was doing this in front of Dan and Serena. But in a way it made it more final.

"It's killing me- you're killing me- to know that I can never have you again, that this the end. But the point is that I _know_ it. If we went on it would be a lie, and I can't do that to you, and I can't do that to myself." Blair looked to her right at her last sentence, glancing at Dan who averted his gaze as soon as she caught his eye.

"I'm sorry." Blair said again, and this time Chuck understood why.

Finally a tear escaped and splashed to the table, but Blair did not bother to hide her shame. And Chuck said nothing, not because he didn't want to speak, but because he knew, like she did, that this was the end. There was no sugar coating it.

"I'm sorry." Chuck echoed her mournful tone.

"I know."

* * *

6:50 the main table 

Just five people had watched Blair walk away, but those five had been more than enough for her. A deafening silence hung over those five, despite the rabble all around.

"I have a speech to make before dessert is served." Lily broke the silence, and left the table.

"I should... yes." Rufus followed Lily with no definable reason.

Chuck stood with no words, heading in the direction of a fire exit, leaving his jacket and all else he left at the door behind. Including Blair Waldorf.

"I need to talk to Blair." Serena murmured, going to stand.

"No." suddenly Dan cut in, "You need to find your boyfriend and tell him to go and make sure Chuck doesn't... throw himself from the Brooklyn Bridge. Then you need to speak to Blair."

Serena nodded dumbly but still muttered, "I need to take her home."

Dan glanced at Serena with mild speculation; she seemed to be running on auto- pilot, as if she had prepared for this to happen.

"Let me." Dan said but Serena looked unsure, he pushed, "I know a thing or two about heartbreak. I know how it feels to finally realize that you aren't meant to be with someone you still love. It hurts like hell. I'm sure I can help Blair for an hour or two, we have more in common then you think."

"OK. Just... be nice." Serena sighed, trying her best to hide the guilt at Dan's little speech.

"Cross my heart."

* * *

6:55pm The door 

"Hey." Blair heard a voice, full of pity and sympathy, behind her.

Mournfully, she continued to stare forward, waiting for her coat to be brought out. Dan stood for a few lonely moments before realizing that Blair was not going to turn. Well if the mountain won't come to Mohammed.

"Are you OK?" Dan walked round Blair to catch her eyes with his, eyes full of a bitter pain, before adding, "Of course you're not.. what was I thinking?"

"What do you want, Dan." Blair said blandly, too emotionally drained to maintain a disdainful facade.

"Serena has to find Nate, so I'm taking you home." Dan's voice was authoritative, but Blair still noticed how he shifted from foot to foot nervously, with his hands in his pockets and eyes flickering from her face and back again.

"I don't think so, I am perfectly capable..."

"I know, you're a big girl." Dan cut her off, and, if just to admire how sweet he was when he tried to be assertive, she let him continue, "But this is a big thing to go through alone, even just an hour alone."

Blair had to smother the smile at the care in Dan's voice. It was not out of character, she had observed, for him to help someone if he thought the cause just; and yet she was caught off guard by his concern. Maybe because she had not experienced that kind of care from a man for such a long time. But whatever the reason, and somewhere within her she was sure it was more than being at a loss for words, Blair did not put up a fight.

"Ok, fine." Blair sighed, and watched, bemused, as Dan's eyes widened in surprise.

"Right, well... yes." Dan mumbled awkwardly before gathering up Blair's jacket and handing it to her.

This uneasy side to Dan disconcerted Blair. It was not as if he had been filled with grace before, but now it seemed his only redeeming qualities, his quick wit and sharp writers mind, were replaced with a stumbling awkwardness. Blair was not so naive to dismiss this as just part of the Humphrey's brand of care because so much, too much, had conspired between the frenemies to pretend everything was just fine after all. However, dismiss it she did. Possibly because the only other time Blair had ever experienced this foolish side to Dan was when she watched an exchange between him and Serena, and seeing it now scared her. There was already enough to deal with, without adding Dan Humphrey to that list of problems.

7:20- The Elevator 

She had not asked him to come with her and he had not insisted that he did. Nor had he thought better or she told him to go home, like they both knew she should have. But on some unspoken agreement, Dan had walked Blair into her building, thinking now was the time to try out being a gentleman, stepped into the elevator with her and silently watched the doors close.

He should have stopped at the doors; shouldn't have even taken her home. They both knew it.

Standing at either side of the elevator, like they were both the north side of magnets and the similarities they saw in each other repelled them, the dim orange light set an almost angelic glow around the pair. That's irony for you.

Blair licks her lips, for no considerable reason, and Dan's eyes flicker to them. Curiously watching. She tucks a loose strand of hazel hair behind her ear and he watches still. Blair saw the hungry curiosity in his eyes with her every movement; the rise and fall of her chest, the fluttering of eyelashes atop hazel eyes. Blair could only imagine what the source of his curiosity was, as she tentatively watched him, watching her. All Blair really knew is that... she didn't know weather or not she liked how he was looking at her. Dan watched her for only seconds, but to Blair it felt like minutes, hours with his burning eyes.

"How's the writing going?" Blair said pointedly, and hid her smirk as Dan's eyes snapped up to her own in alarm.

"I... It's fine. Just fine." Dan stumbled, dropping his eyes to the floor and running a hand through the side of his hair. The extent of his social awkwardness was all too endearing to Blair and she couldn't help but let her hard gaze soften a little.

"You could win an Oscar for that lie Humphrey." Blair couldn't hide her smirk now, "So how's it really going?"

"Why the sudden interest."

"Let's call it my 'good deed' for today."

"Good deed?"

"Being kind to a charity case."

Dan tipped his head back and let out a hearty chuckle, and Blair tried not to smile at the intoxicating sound but failed. She wondered, fleetingly, if her eyes crinkled in the corners the same wonderful way his were then but shrugged the thought off. It was pointless to deny that she hadn't missed their back and forths, no one could quite hold Blair's attention intellectually like Dan Humphrey.

"Fine, you caught me." Dan said after he had caught his laughter, "I've been lacking... inspiration as of late. Serena always used to be my muse."

Falling upon Blair's ears as some form of insult she responded to his comment accordingly, "Well we all know Serena isn't short of... _inspiration_. All you have to do is lie back and..."

"Stop." Dan cut Blair off, anger simmering in his voice but none really surfacing in his eyes.

Mutely they stood across from each other as the elevator came to a shuddering halt and the doors swung open with that tell tale ding. Neither moved. Blair watched Dan intently, observed how his mouth pulled down at the corners just slightly and how his brow furrowed over deep hazel eyes that were drowned in conflicting emotions. Confusion and concern. Blair had been seeing a lot of that on peoples faces lately. She hated it.

The elevator door closed again, but the elevator stayed still, before either person spoke again.

"I love Serena, I don't know why I said that. I'm s..."

"Don't apologize..." Dan cut Blair off again, Blair counted it as the third time that night and she wouldn't let the next one go, and smiling continued, "... You're Blair Waldorf after all."

And then Blair Waldorf started to cry like she hadn't wanted to at the table before. Because it had hit her. She was Blair Waldorf, but she didn't know who Blair Waldorf was without Chuck Bass. He had taken every part of her and made it his own, and he had never given those parts back. She was lost.

Idly and repeatedly, Dan pressed the button to open the elevator doors so he was not witness to the first tear that rolled over Blair's cheek. But he heard the sob that Blair could not swallow, the one that came out strangled and pained.

"Blair…" Dan said softly, taking a small step towards her.

The elevator doors swung open and closed again but once again neither moved.

"It's nothing. I'm nothing." Blair said through small sobs, more tears falling and her cheeks turning crimson from the embarrassment of it all.

"I know what this is, you don't need to pretend." Dan sighed and after deep consideration lifted a hand to Blair's shoulder which she shrugged off almost immediately.

"Just… don't" Blair was dangerously close to losing her control, true she was crying, but at least it was with grace. Blair did not do waterfall tears and chocked hiccups.

"She changed who I was completely." Dan said quietly, and a dumbfounded Blair sniffled but looked up at him as he shifted his weight, "She brought me out of my shell, made me happier than I ever thought I could be. And I thought that everything that changed about me, for her, made me a better person. But I was wrong."

"Where are you going with this Humphrey?"

"Serena defined me for the longest time. Even when I wasn't with her I thought about how I _shouldcouldwould _be with her. She did make me a better person in _many _ways but I did things with her, for her, against her that I'm not proud of. It took me a while to see that the way my love of her consumed me..." Blair noticeably stiffened at this but Dan continued, "…was destroying me."

"I needed her after we broke up and I need her now. But if I don't let go of this, even if we end up together one day, I'm never going to get to be my own person. Somewhere beneath all that need and want was Dan Humphrey, and I'm just finding him again. You need to remember who you were without Chuck, or at least who you want to be without him."

"That was a poor parable Brooklyn." Blair laughed through her slowing tears.

"It's not a parable if it's true." Dan's head tilted to the side as he said this in that painfully patronizing way that made Blair want to slap him so hard that his head spun the full 360.

"Actually it's not a parable if it's not an allegory, you're the writer Humphrey, you should pick up on these things." Blair said just to top him but his only response was to grin, lean back on his heels and press the button for the elevator door.

For the third time the door opened and this time Blair stepped out, subtly wiping her eyes as she went, with Dan following suit.

Almost immediately she turned on the spot, ready to see Dan back into the elevator, "You should… you should go."

"Yeah." Dan replied a little mindlessly, swaying on the spot.

"Thank You. I mean for being so… Dan." Blair finished lamely, not that it mattered with the man across from her looking as if he was staring into her very soul.

Without hesitation Dan reached out his hand and brushed Blair's final tear from her cheek; his hand lingered there for just a moment too long and she lent into it in response. Deep brown eyes locked onto even deeper eyes and Blair hated how her heart stalled in her chest as Dan's gaze swallowed her whole. Painfully a silence set over the pair, both holding their breath.

Uncomfortably, Dan coughed and moved his hand away from Blair's cheek, but as if her body was moving independently from her mind- which screamed bitterly at her for feeling like this about Dan Humphrey- she caught his hand in her own. Blair Waldorf was a leader not a follower, and she had let Dan Humphrey take lead for too long. If she was going to betray her morals, friends and her own mind then she might as well do it properly.

"Blair, I don't think this is a good..." Dan's plea was halted by Blair's lips as she silenced his with her own.

Motionlessly Dan stood, hands balled in to fists at his side and body ridged while Blair landed kiss after kiss on his lips, jaw, neck. She was clumsy and desperate and what's more she knew it as she forced Dan backwards against the wall next to the elevator, so he was caught between it and her. Blair's hands snaked around Dan's neck, fingers tugging idly at strands of hair as he stood ever still.

Dan's less than lackluster response frustrated Blair but did not send her to fury, because he had yet to push her away. Slowly she bit, licked, sucked up his neck while her delicate fingers felt down his chest eventually reaching the waist band of his trousers. Noticeably Dan stiffened at the turn of events and Blair almost smirked when she saw the way his features creased into confusion, a mix of arousal and reluctance.

Gingerly, Blair slid a hand into Dan's trousers her fingers playing with the top of his boxers, teasing. Before she could go any further a hand encircled her wrist, dragging her arm upwards. Within seconds Dan asserted his questionable dominance and had swung Blair around so that she was trapped against the wall, arm pinned to her side. There was a kind of fire burning in Dan's eyes, one Blair was not sure she wanted to know the meaning of but one that excited her all the same.

She kissed him lightly, barely touching his lips, once and whispered, "Why bother resisting? We both know you want this."

Pointedly Blair let her eyes flicker down where she could feel Dan's arousal pressed against her abdomen, smirking slightly as she did. Even in the throes of passion Dan and Blair kept their mocking relationship balanced.

"That doesn't matter." Dan hissed and Blair had to smother her shock at the usually placid boy's sizzling anger (it would seem the heat of the moment, or Blair herself, brought out the passion in Humphrey), "You don't want to do this."

"Of course I do!"

"No, no," and he sounded like Dan Humphrey again, shaking his head with that pitiful sadness in his eyes, "You think you want this, but you don't."

"Please?" Blair whispered her lips brushing over Dan's.

Right then he should've have mentioned Chuck or Serena and in a heartbeat Blair would have stepped away, but the revelation Blair waited for didn't come.

"I can't." is all he said, but his eyes had closed and his words had been said against her lips.

So all Blair had to do was sigh a half hearted 'you can' back and Dan was kissing her, arms wrapping around her waist. It was a peculiar feeling, as Blair begged Dan to open his mouth by biting along his bottom lip, the tenderness in Dan's arms as opposed to the desperation in Blair's. She _wanted_ to forget everything, and that's why her teeth clashed clumsily against Dan's whilst her tongue explored his mouth, but she _needed_ to remember how it felt to be cared for, and that's why Dan let one hand cup her face, thumb stroking lazy circles atop her flushed cheeks.

Clumsily Blair fumbled with Dan's belt, it was so out of sorts for Blair to be this amateur. She had picked up a thing or two from Chuck Bass and yet her hands would not cease their shaking.

"Blair, no." Dan panted into the Blair's shoulder where he had been previously caressing.

"ShhShhShh." Blair uttered as if dealing with a stubborn child. She felt it was fitting, really.

Once again Dan stopped Blair's hand, hiking his trousers up at the same time, and pushed her hand away. She was sure this time that he would put an end to it. Just the mention of two little names and this would be done. Blair wanted him now but in a way she wished he would really _try _and stop this. Because if he didn't stop this from happening, it meant he wanted it to happen… and that wasn't a good sign.

However, Dan did not do the sensible thing- apparently neither of them had common sense in this situation- and he pulled Blair closer to him, softly stroking at her petite curves.

"If you want this, then it's not about me." Dan sighed with defeat before planting a firm, bittersweet kiss upon her ruby lips.

Dan's placed his hand on Blair's lower thigh, tracing small circles with his fingertips that sent shivers of anticipation up Blair's spine. His fingers, as they crept up her thigh, pushing up her dress inch by inch, were better than a dream, better than her dreams. After a few moments of spine tingling, fire building, unbearable tension, Dan let his fingers to the front of Blair's panties. She couldn't even find the effort to be embarrassed at the wetness that waited there for him already as he let his fingers trail up and down.

Dan's other hand tangled in Blair's hair and she brought her lips to his ear in hope of letting out a breathless 'please' but could only whimper. He seemed to understand though.

Eventually he had pushed her skimpy underwear to the side, fingers gliding deftly over wet folds.

It was almost too much for Blair to handle. A moan escaped her lips, wrenched from the back of her throat and sighed right into Dan's ears.

He pulled back and let his mouth crash into hers. Tongue invading. Fire _everywhere._

As they kissed a finger, two fingers, found themselves under swollen lips, pushing in.

Moaning into his mouth Blair deepened the kiss and his response to this was a hearty growl. Unexpected from Humphrey to say the least. But she liked this side of him.

However, as Dan dragged his fingers along her inner walls his thumb finding a circular rhythm on Blair's swollen nub, she could not help but think how he would have learnt how to do this from her best friend.

This thought forced her to pull away from his demanding lips, which had bitten and sucked at Blair's own, but did not make her want to pull away from him completely. She would not, could not, stop this now.

Arching her back from the wall, thrusting herself against his hand, Blair could almost forget all of her worries as she mewed deliciously in Dan's ears.

She writhed against his movements, hips rolling with every pump of fingers and rub of thumb against cliterous. Nearly there.

This was no fairytale, Dan Humphrey _fingering _Blair Waldorf against her living room wall, but it did not change the fact the his touch felt like fire on Blair's ice cold soul.

Finally Blair cried out from over Dan's shoulder, the sound reverberating off the walls. Pulling his fingers from Blair, Dan slid his hand into his pocket and suddenly Blair feared pulling her head back to stare into Dan's eyes and see what kind of emotion lay there. Anger? Lust? Want? Need?

Blair unwrapped her hands from Dan's neck and slumped against the wall. Dan untangled his hand from Blair's hair and placed it on the wall beside her head, leaning there. And just like that the illusion was broken.

Left panting, Blair gazed up at Dan who's face was contorted with confusion; eyes closed with a scowl sitting heavily upon them, mouth downturned. It was all she could do to place a hand on his chest and push him away.

"Humph- Dan," Blair sighed, feeling the redness on her cheeks refusing to settle, "I think I'm sorry."

"You think you're sorry?" Until Blair heard Dan say her words back, she had not realized what she had said to him. Refusing to meet her eyes, hand in pockets and shifting towards the elevator Dan said, "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I do, this was my…."

Dan cut her off, fourth time that night, but she didn't care, "I'm going to go. I know, don't talk about this, write about it, dream or even think about it. Right?"

"Yeah, sure." She replied halfheartedly, her voice a little hollow.

Dan waited for the elevator, stepped in, watched the doors closed and was gone. No grand exit. Nothing. Their exchange seemed to have been empty. She should feel like a wicked wanton whore, tried to make herself feel that way, but the guilt just wasn't coming. Not for the act itself anyway.

Did Dan feel used? He should. Dan was Blair's escape for a few minutes, escape from reality. If that's all he was, then why did she feel a knawing absence in her chest now?

This was too hard to face. And if there was anything Blair had learnt from her time with Chuck Bass, it was that when emotions became too much: hide.

* * *

**I know that was kind of mediocre, but well, I am a shit writer when it comes to sexy stuff. I apologize for any mistakes, I rushed the last bit, I'll edit it tomorrow. **

**About the next chapter, I know exactly where I want to go with it (Which is more than I can say for chapters 4 and 5) and I want to get it up before GG starts again. But I am making no promises. Lazzzy.**

**THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. And OMG so many subscribers! I must have a few hundred by now! Keep it up guys, you push me to keep on trying.**

**xoxo**


	7. Hiding from Dan Humphrey

**A/N: I can only apologize for how long this has taken. I had exams and then when I did get around to finishing this chapter, I couldn't get Fanfiction to work! Excuses, excuses. I am very sorry, I hope this makes up for it. **

**Chapter 5 was Blair's closure, and now this is Dan's. Kind of. So this is Dan's POV, which may make the title seem odd, but he's basically just hiding from what he knows to be true, his own mind, and his past. In that order. **

**This is unbetad so sorry for spelling mistakes. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this story, if I did, Serena would be less self obsessed. **

**CHAPTER 6 – Hiding from Dan Humphrey. **

10:00am The Loft

Long legs dangled over the side of a rusted, old fire escape, trousers rolled up to the knees and exposed skin tanning in the unusually bright spring sunshine. A light wind blew a warm breeze through black hair of the man- half boy- who sat with a scowl pulling at his features, laptop in hand. Anyone within the Brooklyn loft at this time, although there was no one, would have been able to hear the heavy click of keys over the New York traffic.

_Everything sparkles in your world. That was the first thing I noticed when I stepped into that ballroom, everything sparkled. But it wasn't just the crystal champagne glasses and the diamond chandelier, which threw rainbows everywhere, it was the people too. I can almost hear you scoffing at me but it's true. You don't want it to be true because of how much more she sparkled than everyone else. _

_Not more than you, not to me anyway._

_That was the second thing I noticed; her. I find it hard to imagine anyone making a grander entrance, sweeping through the double doors of the hall with golden hair flying melodramatically behind. She was the epitome of your world, glamour, style and money. _

_No one saw you walk in behind her. I did. _

_Only seventeen, but every eye was on that low cut red dress, the one that made her blue eyes look like you could drown in them; I hated fashion, still do, but in that moment I would have talked about that goddamn dress for hours just because she was wearing it. _

_Did anyone even tell you how beautiful you looked? I wish I had. _

_Whispers, whispers everywhere. Who is that girl? That girl with hair like the sun and eyes like the ocean. What is her name? Serena van der Woodsen. If they didn't already know her at that silly little party, then they would by the end of the night. Everyone has to know Serena. _

_Everyone knows you as Serena's best friend. I never thought it was fair._

_Serena just had to smile and she would bring a thousand men to their knees, just had to speak and she'd stop a thousand hearts from beating. Just another day in the life of Serena van der Woodsen, charming an entire room without any effort at all. She walked into the crowd after that, men on her heels like infatuated puppies._

_You stayed behind. I saw you with that sad smile upon ruby lips. Those sad, hazel eyes._

Dan slammed the lid of his laptop down, a little too forcefully, and smothered his face in his hands with a deflated sigh. He had started a hundred little stories of the same fashion in the week since his last _encounter _with Blair. All of them ended up being about her, without him even realizing it. Sure, he had found inspiration again, but at what price?

"Love. That's a strong word." Dan muttered to himself unintelligibly as he clambered back inside of the loft, "No. You're not in love Dan. Just… infatuated."

Yes, he was sure of it. Blair Waldorf was his opposite, in every sense of the word, there was no chance that he could have fallen in love with her after one… three encounters of the intimate kind.

Falling back onto his bed, Dan sighed again. Every breath these days felt a little more strained. And it's not as if he had been up to any strenuous activity. In fact, he hadn't been doing much at all.

The last week had passed with a sort of dull monotony. Dan had been unable to pass the time with Nate, as he helped his rehabilitating father, or Vanessa, as she maintained certain _feelings _for him, which he could not reciprocate. The only amusement he was getting was from playing old board games with Rufus and a heartbroken Eric, and listening to Jenny talk about fashion. On the topic of Blair Waldorf, well that relationship had been practically non-existent. She made no effort to contact him, and he returned the favor, afraid of what talking to her might lead him to feel.

And in his boredom, Dan could just not stop thinking about her.

That night one week ago, when Blair had forsaken Chuck and kissed Dan until he pushed her against her living room wall, kept on creeping into his mind. At the time it had been thoughtless and senseless but now Dan was acutely aware of every movement that Blair Waldorf had made.

_She had almost purred in his ear as he had invaded her body in an even more questionable act then the most primitive thing mankind indulged in. _

_Her hands had tugged mercilessly at his hair, fingers entwining themselves there. Or were they still clamped at her sides at this point?_

_He had stolen kisses from her mouth hungrily. He could have kissed her forever, would have wanted to taste those lips forever, but he was sure she had pulled away. Leaving him with only her fluttering heartbeat, which beat against his own. Or maybe it had just been his own that he had felt thumping restlessly there._

_Nonetheless when she had reached that point, the moment where a woman's eyes roll back in her head, she had, at least, sighed his name. It dying on her lips with a cry. _

_No, wait. That wasn't right. None of this picture was._

Whatever had conspired that night, Dan was refusing to acknowledge. He wanted to think that Blair had surrendered herself to him in the heat of the moment when, truthfully, he was just her device to help her forget. He wasn't mad at her for that, not for a second, heartbreak does mad things to a person, he just wanted desperately to mean something more to her.

"Vanessa." Dan said aloud to the empty department, "I should... go and see Vanessa."

Anything to take his mind of Blair Waldorf.

"God, what is wrong with me." Dab sprang from his bed, hands over his face and back through his hair, before stalking to the door.

Dan pulled the door to the loft open and before stepping out mumbled to himself, "I am insane. She's driven me insane."

11:00am NYU

The hefty aroma of that intoxicating female scent, from perfume and shampoo and fabric softener and shower gel, hit Dan as soon as he stepped onto Vanessa's floor in the NYU dorm. And he was sure that above all of those scents he caught the delicious aroma of a mix of lavender body wash and Chanel no. 5. His memories of that night were hazy at best, but above the smell of alcohol was Her.

As Dan rounded the corner he was faced with what at that moment was both his sweetest dream and worst nightmare: Blair Waldorf. Stubbornly she stood to attention with a clipboard in hand, barking demands at men who seemed to ignore her as they hoisted the host of boxes around her.

"Can't anyone take a few simple directions!" Blair's shrill voice pierced Dan's eardrums, "All I ask is that you unpack the boxes and rearrange everything so that my clothes are not..."

Her highness caught herself mid sentence as she locked eyes with Dan who by then stood at the end of the hall lazily, hands in pockets, with a lopsided smile of amusement at watching Miss Waldorf at her most comfortable, bossing people around. Slowly her hands moved to the curve of her hips and a crease appeared above eyes that still maintained the glassy, distanced look she usually reserved for 'the help', and suddenly Dan knew he was in the line of fire.

"Dorota?" Blair almost hissed through gritted teeth, Dan could hear the venom from meters away.

"Miss Blair?" Dorota stopped glowering at the movers for a moment to chirp at Blair.

"Could you take over for a moment? I have... business to attend to." she did not wait for an answer, just slapped the clipboard onto Dorota's chest before stalking down the hallway towards Dan.

Dan swallowed heavily as he watched Blair fume towards him, not able to stop thinking of the way her green, floral dress hugged her figure or the way her eyes darkened when she was angry much in the same way they did when she was aroused.

"What, are you doing here?" Blair snapped as she halted in front of Dan, "Not here to talk about," she looked around quickly, "last week- or the week before that for that matter- are you?"

"While I do think that at some point we are going to have to face what we did... contrary to your beliefs, not everything I do revolves around you. Vanessa lives on this floor too remember? I've just come to see her." Dan said in an almost bored tone.

"Oh," Blair sighed, but was that disappointment he spotted beneath her porcelain mask? "Good. I can't have your theatrics getting in my way."

"What's going on?" Dan nodded to the boxes.

"I'm moving."

"I got that. Why?"

"They've offered me a place at Columbia after the summer and I don't see the point in staying here for the last few weeks of the semester."

"Columbia? Even after the whole... Hazing incident?"

"Well, what can I say, they just couldn't ignore my potential." Blair smirked and her eyes raked over Dan in her most pedantic way.

Even if she didn't care to admit it, Dan and Blair had been through a lot in the past few weeks and so Dan could easily spot the defensive walls Blair was throwing up around herself now. Something was amiss.

"Well if you ever get lonely in the castle Waldorf..." Sighing, Dan let his suspicions go.

A brief look of confusion passed across Blair's features before her mask of disdain returned, "What? Ask you for company? As enthralling as that sounds I think I'll pass."

"Well I'm always here for a good... scheme. Maybe a trip to the movies?"

"Yes, I'm sure we share the same taste in theatre Humphrey." Blair bit sarcastically.

"You're right, what was I thinking? I wouldn't catch a Waldorf dead at the Film Forum. Why care about Nanette when you have parties to plan." Dan began to walk away, putting a meter or so between them before Blair's voice stopped him.

Her mouth was downturned in the corners as she spoke, but her hands fluttered restlessly at her sides and Dan observed a spark in her eyes, "Wait. You are going to see Nanette at the film forum? I was going to go."

Spinning on his heels, Dan looked at Blair incredulously, "You like French documentaries about orangutans?"

"Are you kidding? Nanette is an inspiration, last summer I would go to the Jardin des Plantes all the time just to visit her."

"Well, maybe we'll run into each other then." Dan hummed.

"Don't count on it." she hissed but it did the venom did not carry; in fact, she was struggling to hold back a small smile.

"Bye Blair." Dan said before turning the corner and leaving once again.

They, the elites, were obsessed with money, parties and keeping up appearances, Dan thought as he walked home, even Serena hadn't bothered to pick up a book Dan liked or watch a film he admired. She had been wonderful, not caring what others thought of them together which is more than Dan could say for Blair, but Serena had no substance. Nothing lay beneath that pretty exterior. There was something else in Blair, something that made her well read and educated and so full of passion, and Dan wanted to find out.

He didn't even remember that he had gone to the dorms with the intention of seeing Vanessa until hours later.

1:00pm Central Park

As ever, the greenest part of Manhattan was teeming with life. Beneath green canopies, which were littered with buds ready to blossom, doting couples strolled hand in hand and bands of frolicking children laughed amongst the greenery. It was like something taken straight from a postcard, a writers dream scene. But Dan hadn't a moment to enjoy any of it.

Uselessly Dan limped through the park, a film of sweat building on his forehead as he tried to keep up with the person he was supposed to be going on a 'gentle jog' with. Instead Dan had found himself breathless and sweating, listening to the heavy footstep of Nathaniel Archibald as he sprinted angrily ahead. They had barely spoken but based on the fact that there was practically steam coming from his ears, it hadn't been difficult to deduce the young Archibald's simmering anger.

"Wait!" Dan huffed, struggling for a breath, "Nate, I- can't- keep- up."

Doubling over, Dan rested his hands on his knees to take a few gasping breaths and taking a few moments to notice that his sneakers were rubbing his feet horribly and he was covered, head to toe, in a thin layer of sweat.

"Sorry man," Nate chuckled, tossing his immaculate brown locks from his face, not looking the least bit tired, "I had a bit of steam to blow off, I've been inside for days."

"With your Dad?" Dan asked standing straight but taking hold of his sides for good measure.

"Yeah," he stiffened, "He doesn't have a job yet so I'm looking after him."

"He needs looking after? He's a grown man."

"You wouldn't guess it from the way he's acting. Parties every night, new girls coming out of his room every morning. Come on, if you don't start walking you'll start aching." Nate pated Dan and they began to walk at a snail's pace.

"I'm sorry about your Dad. But you have connections, right? It can't be that hard to get him a job."

"All of my connections were once his. No one who knows him wants to hire him." Nate sighed and Dan's brow creased in concern for his best friend.

"Well you could always ask Serena? Blair?" Dan said, and then almost immediately regretted saying Blair's name.

The run had taken his mind off of her, the pounding of feet on gravel drowning out the sound of her voice that had been playing on a loop in his head. But there she was again, forefront in his mind. So easily could he imagine the feel of her skin and her soft brown eyes looking into his. Something had to be done about this obsession. _Wait, is Nate talking?_

"…. I don't know what's going on with her, man. But maybe I'll speak to the Waldorf's." Nate finished, and Dan realized he had no idea what he had been saying about Serena.

"Don't worry about it." Is all Dan could find to say, "I'm sure everything will work out."

_Lies, _Dan thought, _Nothing every works out on the Upper East Side._

"I really hope so."

3:00pm The Loft

The water hit his chest like shards of ice, but he didn't flinch away from the cold. In fact, he openly welcomed it, ducking his head under the showerhead and letting the cold scare away all thoughts of illicit activities with a certain Upper East Side princess. Yes, a cold shower was the best thing for Dan right then.

Washing away the sweat of the run, Dan had time to reflect on the past few weeks. Vulnerability, loneliness, revenge; all things that had driven Dan and Blair together. Nothing more. He had held no prior attraction to Blair Waldorf, had seen no redeeming qualities in her and other than what everyone else knew, from Gossip Girl, Dan had known positively nothing about the girl. But he'd jumped into bed with her anyway. He had never felt so shallow in his life.

After ducking under that cold water again and letting the ice burn his scalp, Dan took another long moment to think.

But Blair liked Nanette. It wasn't much but it was a start. Dan could almost guarantee that she loved more of the same things he did. Not only that, but he had seen her passion now. The thing that had lead her to come to him and to leave Chuck for good. Whatever drove that passion was something Dan wanted to know about. Of course he could not stop himself wanting to know her body better, now that he had seen it he couldn't get it out of his head, but at least he wanted to know that mind better too. And what a mind it must be, he thought.

"Who are you Blair Waldorf?" Dan said aloud, feeling as if he had a purpose: to find the real Blair. But of course, she didn't even seem to know if their conversation in the elevator had been anything to go by.

Three loud, sharp knocks at the front door pulled Dan from his own head and back into the real world, where he still stood under the freezing water.

"COMING! HOLD ON DON'T GO ANYWHERE!" Dan shouted in between hoping out of the shower and pulling a soft, cotton towel around his waist.

The knocking only increased as Dan bounded across the loft, shivering as the cold water and air reacted on his bare skin.

"Yes, I said I'm…" he swung the door wide open and his last word was caught in his throat and replaced with, "Serena?"

"Hi Dan." She said and smiled that small, sad smile that always ended up with his heart breaking.

Muttering his own strained greeting, Dan ushered Serena in and offered her a seat. She declined and stood rigidly by the door, perfect pout downturned. She looked at him thoughtfully for longer then Dan found comfortable, especially considering he was only wearing a towel, before finally sighing.

"I just came to ask if you were coming to the party at the Empire tonight?" She said with an unconvincing nonchalance.

Dan amused her obvious delay of the real problem. "A party at Chuck's hotel? And I'm invited?"

"Well, you are now."

"What's wrong Serena?" He could only keep up the pretense for so long (well, not very long at all). He had less and less patience for his past love these days.

She hesitated but an unfaltering, firm look from Dan saw her sigh again before saying, "Nate."

"I thought as much." He said, although he didn't, "What's going on exactly? Is it because of the Captain?"

"He thinks it's that." Serena's blue eyes filled with a pitiful sadness then, her head bowed and her golden hair fell in curtains around her upset features, "We're just- I'm drifting away from him, Dan. And it's my fault. I've been avoiding him, I can't bear to see him."

Dan wondered how many times Serena had managed to refer to herself in those few sentences. Lately he had been able to see her self obsession more clearly; it was so much easier to find the bad in someone who had broken your heart.

"Why, what's wrong?" Dan asked with concern laced in his voice, only an ounce of which was real. He leant against the counter, exhausted, as he waited for her reply. Dan decided he would try to help, because he wanted to keep some semblance of their already dwindling friendship, but that didn't mean he would do it with any sort of enthusiasm.

"I just don't love Nate anymore. No, I do. But my feelings are so confused." She said sadly.

"Don't you think you should be talking to Nate about this then?"

"No. Because there's a reason I feel like this." Serena brought her head up and locked her gaze onto his.

_Oh please, no. This isn't fair. No. _Dan thought and held his breath as Serena took a step closer to him. Suddenly, he was very aware that he was naked from the waist up.

"Serena…" Dan said, his voice a whisper, "…what is this about?"

Slowly, she took another step forward so that there were mere inches between ridged bodies, her eyes were sparkling with something akin to excitement, all sadness lost, and she whispered, "I think you know, Dan."

And before he could react, her full, ruby lips were on his, moving against his closed, still mouth. But Dan's resistance was only so strong, and before long he found his body giving in and reacting. His hands moved to tangle in yellow tresses as her hands found themselves against his bare chest, caressing, and she moved in closer yet, impossibly so, deepening the kiss. Both pairs of lips moved frantically now, open and desperate but for Dan, unfeeling. Yes, his heart fluttered weakly at the thought of similar, heated scenes from their past. But that's all this was, as Serena moaned into his mouth, a memory being lived out again. And as Serena's tongue began to explore Dan's own, this became clear in his mind and his hands moved to her shoulders, pushing her away.

"Serena, you can't do this." Dan said as they broke away, disappointment surfaced in her eyes while only anger surfaced in his, "You can't do this to Nate. And you can't do it to me."

"What do you mean?" she stepped back, arms falling limply at her sides, brow creasing.

"You're with Nate is what I mean! It's not fair to just go and kiss someone else!" Dan almost barked, and he had to ball his hands into loose fists at his sides to stop from getting too worked up.

"But if I wasn't with Nate?" Serena pushed and Dan realized why she had looked so confused.

"Then, I'm sorry, but nothing would change. I still have feelings for you Serena but they're a part of myself that isn't really me anymore. My past." Dan suddenly felt very sorry for the defeated looking girl before him, _she was still living in that past_, "Every time those emotions get dragged up again, it just _hurts_. And it's not fair."

_But it's more than that isn't it? More than just you past, _an uncontrollable part of Dan's mind spoke up, _Serena shouldn't be doing this because of Nate. You don't want to be doing it because of…_

Dan was quick to silence his thoughts at that. He couldn't bear to think that he would be right back in Serena's arms in a moment if it wasn't for _Her. _

"I'm sorry." Was all Serena could reply, and Dan was inclined to take it as sincere with her bottom lip wobbling like it was.

"I am too." Dan nodded and for a long moment the two of them stood, unmoving and unspeaking.

"I should go." She said quietly.

"You'll talk to Nate won't you? Not about the kiss. About how you feel?" Dan urged.

"I will… for you." She smiled sadly then with monotony simply asked, "So are you coming to Chuck's party?"

"I don't think so." Dan muttered and earned an understanding nod from Serena.

"That's probably for the best. I don't really want to get caught up in the crossfire between Chuck and Blair either." She said with an uneasy laugh. The tension between them now was palpable.

"Blair's going?"

"Yeah, the drama of last week seems to have cleared up. For the most part. But things are still raw."

Dan wondered what had conspired between the two for them to be on good terms. He had a good idea, but he didn't want to acknowledge it. That would mean acknowledging that Blair could be bought.

"I'll... See you later then." Serena said numbly before leaving the loft.

Dan listened to the stab of her heels die away before moving to his room to change, one purpose in mind. Humphrey's were not particularly confrontational; Dan did not have the courage of a fighter running through his veins. There was no way for Dan to get to Blair's heart with a swaggering confidence; he was no Archibald or Bass.

There was one weapon Dan did host in his artillery however, apart from his quick wit and biting sarcasm, and that was comfort. Dan Humphrey was a good guy. And when Blair was left broken and defeated by her dark 'prince', Dan would valiantly sweep her up and... Ask her to a movie.

It can't always be as romantic as a novel, Dan concluded.

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